If you’ve ever struggled with mismatched desires, defining commitment with a partner, or navigating the messier side of non-monogamy — this episode is for you. In this candid conversation, I talk with Dr. Tammy Nelson, sexologist, therapist, TEDx speaker, and author of Open Monogamy. With 35+ years of experience working with couples in both monogamous and open relationships, Tammy brings a nuanced lens to everything from sexual boredom and emotional disconnection to jealousy, relationship fatigue, and the evolving nature of commitment. We explore: Why mismatched desires and “monogamy gaps” show up even in non-monogamyHow open relationships can become more intimate — not less — when built on clarityTools for navigating jealousy, initiating hard conversations, and honoring shifting needsThe danger of jumping to a solution before naming the real problemWhy fantasy, communication, and appreciation matter more than frequency or rules??? Relationship Tools You’ll Walk Away With: How to co-create a flexible relationship agreement (that actually works)A framework for checking in when needs or desires changeWhat to say when your partner reacts with fear or defensivenessWhy shared language (and revisiting your agreements) matters more than labelsTammy’s insights offer a refreshing, non-shaming perspective for anyone doing the work of building relationships that actually fit. Whether you're deep in your ENM journey or just refining your agreements, there’s something in here for you. Curious to learn more? Check out Dr. Tammy Nelson's book,""Open Monogamy: A Guide to Co-Creating Your Ideal Relationship Agreement," and visit her website at for additional resources and insights.