Our friends at Shameless Sex shipped me a vibrating masturbator. I was so excited to use it that I forgot to sanitize the toy. I am now quarantining my cock for the next 14 days, which isn't much different than where it's been for the past year. My mom encourages me to start paying for cam girls and lectures me on where I should be jizzing in my apartment. What did you talk about with your mom this week? Stock up with the best lube, UberLube! Please help our show by leaving us a rating and review at You can also get exclusive bonus content and virtually hang out with us at Make sure to check out my mom's new book, F*ck Games, Date Cougars.