You’ve opened up your relationship or decided to explore non-monogamy, and at first, you’re excited — until BOOM — you're hit with a wave of feelings: jealousy, insecurity, anger, hurt... You pump the brakes and set up rules to try to protect yourself and your partners from all this discomfort. But it doesn’t work. The rules feel punitive, like you're on a leash (and not the fun, kinky kind), and